Title: Prioritizing Personal Gain in the Workplace: Set the Example First
Everyone, even your employees, is wired for self-interest. Consider this perspective from an employee's standpoint: "You need to go first, validate me, and then I'll happily focus on my teammate's welfare. I crave to be truly heard and understood by you, which in turn offers me emotional warmth. This emotional connection creates an intrinsic motivation to help you, resulting in a desire to maintain the connection.
In essence, when the connection is genuine, you're offering an emotional warm hug. It's hard to distinguish between trust-building energy and an emotional warm hug. So, when you 'get me right,' I feel genuinely heard, which offers a sense of emotional warmth. And honestly, I'd love to preserve and nurture this connection.
Our basic human need for social connections is crucial for survival. Strong social connections contribute to emotional stability, stress reduction, and overall well-being. Research shows that deep connections create a sense of 'emotional safety' or 'warm hug' that we intuitively crave from others.
Transitioning from Self-Interest to True Connection
According to Matthew D. Lieberman, author of 'Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect,' people are inherently driven by self-interest. However, people are also motivated by something beyond self-interest - the pursuit of social connection. Our brains are programmed for social connections, seeking acceptance and belonging. As leaders, recognizing this, we can prioritize building connections with others, which will ultimately benefit our mutual success.
Establishing Bridges
Lieberman further states that "being highly self-interested doesn't mean we're not interested in the welfare of others." As leaders, it's essential to take care of your team on a one-on-one level by showing genuine interest, understanding, and empathy towards their needs. By doing this, they will feel safe enough to focus on positive social connections and constructive dialogue with their peers.
Judith Glaser, writing for 'Psychology Today,' emphasizes that leaders should prioritize relationships above tasks. By building bridges for connection, leaders become crucial multipliers for success, facilitating a thriving organizational culture.
According to Gallup, 70% of the variance in team engagement is based solely on a manager's ability to prioritize employee connections. The leader's connection is critical in fostering a healthy workplace environment.
Showing Up to the Dialogue Matters: Two Behaviors to Avoid
Effective communication is crucial. Leaders tend to be focused on execution, leading them to overlook the importance of connecting with others first. When leaders slow down and become curious about their team members' perspectives, a deep connection can be formed.
Two behaviors that can inhibit healthy connections include:
1. Talking At or Past Each Other
Communication breakdowns happen when people talk to be heard and drive their own concerns. Leaders might cause these breakdowns by failing to fully understand others' perspectives, instead driving their self-interest in the initiative at hand. However, activating empathy by appreciating others' perspectives can shift their energy from 'foe' to 'friend.'
2. Neglecting Others' Needs
Healthy dialogue requires understanding and addressing others' needs. If leaders miss these details, they make others feel ignored, undervalued, and trigger 'foe' energy, which can result in resentment and lost trust.
In conclusion, leaders must consciously prioritize building connections in every interaction to foster a thriving workplace environment and promote mutual success."
Samantha Tassone, in understanding the importance of human connections, might say, "As a team member, I appreciate when leaders validate my perspectives and show genuine interest in my needs. This creates an emotional warmth that motivates me to prioritize my teammate's welfare, leading to a desire to maintain our connection."
In her role as a leader, Samantha Tassone could strive to avoid the behavior of neglecting others' needs. By recognizing and addressing her team members' perspectives, she fosters an environment of mutual trust and respect, promoting a thriving workplace culture.
