The Traditional Wife Experience: How Digital Exhaustion Sparks Desire for Retro Ideals
In the tumultuous social media landscape of 2024, a peculiar trend has emerged, captivating numerous females - the escalating prevalence of the #tradwife. These women embrace a 1950s domestic lifestyle, focusing on household chores such as cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing, accentuated by elegant attire and impeccable appearances, while their partners work. The statistics are intriguing. Posts tagged with 'traditional wife' terminologies have engendered roughly 113.1 million creations and garnered over 800 million views on TikTok, boasting impressive engagement rates that would leave most brands yearning. This embodies an idyllic home existence. Though the aesthetic harks back to the past, the psyche propelling the viral success of this content is epitomatic of the present.
Tradwives: The Merger of Anti-Feminist Fantasy and Modern Advertising
In the arena of contemporary trad wife movements on social media, two distinct styles are evident. There's individuals like Hannah Neelman of 'Ballerina Farm,' who predominantly keeps her content light-hearted and devoid of political discourse. She showcases her homestead life and ode to domestic bliss, emphasizing the opulent and the ordinary, while steering clear of any political statements until her recent photoshoot with the ultra-conservative Evie Magazine.
On the flip side, there's Estee Williams, who is unapologetic in her views. With almost two million followers invested in her TikToks, she boldly advocates her "feminine NOT feminist" creed, questioning women's need for higher education and the validity of prenuptial agreements, defying gender norms and having their counterparts watch in awe. Both individuals embody the same movement, but employ dramatically different tactics, with Neelman's lifestyle now and then interspersed with suggestive collaborations, and Williams, in no uncertain terms, putting her convictions on display.
Tradwives: The Tangle of 'Choice'
Despite their contrasting methods, these women maintain consistent responses to criticism – 'we are not political, we are not propagating our views, we are merely sharing our lives.' Williams even goes so far as to assert, 'we aren't intending to take away women's hard-won rights... we merely believe in the purpose of being homemakers, submitting to our husbands.' Shrouded under the guise of personal choice, her political sentiments remain a closely guarded secret.
Psychologist Mark Travers challenges this stance, highlighting the far-reaching implications of dismissing a half-century-long struggle for gender equality with the simplistic phrase 'not for me.' He considers this approach a perfect example of the social media tactic – disseminating seemingly harmless content to promote more extreme messages.
Regardless of tradwives' motives or political leanings, the fascination remains palpable, with women from all walks of life engrossed in their perfectly filtered domestic serenity. The irony lies in the fact that women utilize their newly won freedom of choice to promote a lifestyle that, in the past, had left them few alternatives.
However, the issue transcends bonding over the social or political values these tradwives espouse or disregard. Rather, it questions why the meticulously curated image of a homemaker's life has millions of modern women pressing the 'follow' button?
Tradwives: The Psychology Behind the Attraction
The fascination isn't primarily about rejecting societal progression or nostalgia for historical times. It's about something more immediate – the relentless pressure experienced by women to 'have it all.' As the 'motherhood penalty' continues to escalate and workplace support for parents remains static, these serene morning routines and elaborate meal preparation provide a refreshing respite. The reality is that for many of us, escapist videos of a graceful woman nurturing her sourdough starter or pressing her linen tablecloth exert an irresistible pull. Not because they are selling domesticity but because they provide an escape.
In the words of Reshma Saujani, "we ask women to excel in a workplace designed for men with stay-at-home wives, all the while bearing the burden of care at home." Young women today grapple with building careers, maintaining relationships, preserving fitness, and staying available online.
While we have devoted hours to dissecting the veracity of their lives and narratives – from the notorious 'LA Times expose' on Neelman's life, maybe we are missing the crux of the matter. The reason millions of women absorb themselves in endless hours of aesthetically pleasing domesticity remains to be unveiled – is this a fleeting trend or a cultural shift in the making? Is tradwife content a detrimental impact on our collective intelligence, or does the appeal lie in the tantalizing fantasy of abandoning the modern rat race?
This idyllic notion of simplification resonates with millennials and Gen Z particularly. Raised on 'girlboss' assertiveness and hustle culture, they now grapple with stagnating salaries and increasingly blurred work-life boundaries. While successful tradwife influencers garner substantial revenues from capitalizing on their 'domestic bliss' persona, the lifestyle they promote is inaccessible to many women of today. Contrary to the 1950s and 60s wherein a single income sufficed to fuel a middle-class family, the atrocious cost of living today necessitates two incomes just to afford basic necessities. The irony is tangible. These influencers peddle an unrealizable domestic fantasy while simultaneously mastering the very capitalist machinery they claim to despise.
While we might attribute its popularity to widespread disenchantment with burnout culture, this calculated 'traditional values' performance extends far beyond attractive Instagram filters and trending TikToks. As journalist Olivia Giovetti elucidates in her analysis for Concern USA, the glorification of female submission and domestic 'surrender' can contribute to the perpetuation of damaging gender stereotypes in societies where women lack basic legal protections, education, or financial independence.
In light of events like women losing the right to public speech in Afghanistan and the constant threat to our own reproductive rights, it's clear that there's a significant contrast. Luckily, western trad wives have the luxury to choose between traditional roles, a choice they exercise from a place of privilege. It's a world away from the countless women globally who are trapped within patriarchal systems with no such option.
The Tradwife Phenomenon: Unraveling Its Depths
This trend also brings to light something intriguing about our social media usage. In an age of genuine content and raw BeReal moments, tradwife aesthetics thrive on obvious pretense. The filters are obvious, and the set-up is deliberate. It's reminiscent of the glossy women's magazines of yesteryears, peddling unachievable standards of domestic bliss. Similar to these publications, these accounts provide a digital version of the same fantasy, catering to an audience that seems to enjoy the charade, despite knowing it's just that – a game.
What's in store for tradwifery's niche corner of the internet? Oversaturation is always a risk with such media trends. However, the underlying concerns fueling this craze, stemming from exhaustion, don't seem to be waning. Perhaps the real narrative here isn't centered around gender roles or domestic skills, or choices for women versus choices for women – but rather, about how social media continues to morph into a platform where we collectively cope with our contemporary worries through constructed fantasies.
As we pore over images of homemade cereal and hand-written lunch notes, we must not overlook the impact of these carefully curated displays of domestic perfection on our mental health. They can lead us to compare our actual lives to these unattainable ideals, which can feel like an empty promise. And while society seems focused on these idealized scenes of domestic tranquility, we risk losing sight of the more profound systemic issues that make the idea of women "having it all" so elusive.
Hannah Neelman, known for her 'Ballerina Farm' TikTok account, often avoids political discourse and focuses on her homestead life, but recently collaborated with the conservative Evie Magazine, stirring controversy.
Despite being criticized, Estee Williams, another prominent tradwife, maintains that they are not pushing a political agenda, merely sharing their lives. However, her stance against higher education for women and argument against prenuptial agreements have raised eyebrows and garnered controversy.
The 'brainrot' debate has surfaced in relation to the tradwife trend, with psychologist Mark Travers suggesting that the promotion of traditional values through seemingly innocent content could be a strategy to disseminate extreme messages.
The 'momfluencers' and their 'housewifelife' content have attracted a significant following, with many women finding solace in their 'digital burnout' from the high-pressure modern lifestyle. The traditionally feminine image of tradwives provides a refreshing escape from the constant hustle and pressure to 'have it all.'
The popularity of tradwife content has been a topic of discussion, with some analysts arguing that it reflects the widespread disenchantment with burnout culture, and others suggesting that it contributes to perpetuating damaging gender stereotypes. Journalist Olivia Giovetti, in her analysis for Concern USA, has highlighted the potential harm of glorifying female submission and domestic 'surrender' in societies where women lack basic legal protections, education, or financial independence.
