Strategies for Authentic Positivity: Skipping the Pretense and Embracing the Real
The human brain is predisposed towards a negativity bias, making us more likely to focus on potential problems and worst-case scenarios, notes Laurie Santos, a professor of psychology at Yale University and host of the Happiness Lab podcast. This skewed perspective is compounded by the pervasive notion of "toxic positivity," a superficial approach to optimism often found in wellness blogs and social media, which can make attempts to be more positive feel disingenuous and shallow.
However, our brains' natural inclinations do not dictate our inescapable pessimism. Experts suggest practical ways to cultivate a more hopeful mindset without artificially forcing optimism.
Neutrality is a Solid Starting Point
Aiming for a neutral, nonjudgmental perspective can help reduce Worst-case scenario thinking without resorting to forced cheerfulness, Dr. Santos explains. Instead of automatically assuming the worst in a situation, try to adopt a more balanced and objective viewpoint.
Remove Absolutes from Your Vocabulary
Thoughts based on absolutes, like "Nothing ever goes my way," aren't helpful. Swinging to the opposite extreme, such as "Everything's always fine," can also be unrealistic. By embracing the gray area between optimism and pessimism, you can adopt a more balanced, realistic outlook on life.
Run an "If this happens, then what?" Scenario
Planning for potential setbacks can help you feel less anxious and discouraged. If your worst-case scenario comes true, such as not getting the job you wanted, having a backup plan for moving forward can instill a sense of control and hope.
Revisit Proof that You've Handled Worse
Reminding yourself of past challenges that you've overcome can help mitigate feelings of doom. By recognizing your own resilience, you can face current difficulties with renewed confidence.
Notice Your Small Wins
While waiting for major milestones to feel accomplished can lead to feelings of meh, focusing on small daily victories can help foster a more positive mindset. Noticing what's going well, even in chaotic times, builds a more realistic foundation for optimism.
Related:
- How to Recover After Being Ghosted Without Texting Them Again
- What to Do When You Hate Your Job but Can't Just Quit
- Tips for Being Kinder to Yourself
Building a positive mindset requires embracing realistic strategies that nurture mental resilience and genuine well-being. Approaches such as taking action rather than just thinking positively, practicing gratitude with authenticity, reframing negative thoughts constructively, breaking challenges into manageable steps, engaging in mindfulness and thought awareness, building a supportive social environment, volunteering or helping others, and consuming balanced, inspirational content can all foster a balanced, healthy mindset without falling into the trap of toxic positivity.
- To cultivate a more hopeful mindset, adopting a neutral, nonjudgmental perspective is suggested rather than resorting to forced or disingenuous cheerfulness.
- In cases where thoughts are based on absolutes, it's more beneficial to embrace the gray area between optimism and pessimism for a balanced and realistic outlook on life.
- Planning for potential setbacks by running an "If this happens, then what?" scenario can help alleviate anxiety and feelings of doom, while instilling a sense of control and hope.
