Mourning the Demise of a Mother: Strategies for Daughters to Recover
Losing a mother is more than just clinical symptoms; it means losing an important part of your support system. This emotional void can be profound and long-lasting, affecting not only your mental health but also your physical well-being. According to a study, grief is linked to increased chances of cancer, cardiac issues, immune disorders, and high blood pressure.
During this difficult time, it's essential to seek help when needed. If grief becomes unbearable and one is considering self-harm or suicide, help is available through the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, Crisis Text Line, or Befrienders Worldwide. It's never too late to reach out for support.
Mindfulness, the ability to focus on the moment, can help manage painful memories related to the loss of a mother. By concentrating on the present, one can find moments of peace and solace amidst the grief.
Parental loss is known to be linked with depression and a compromised sense of self in young adults. A 2021 study further revealed that daughters may experience grief differently than sons, and cultural and tradition losses, as well as a lack of maternal guidance, can leave them feeling lost and disconnected.
Offering support to others who have experienced parental loss can be a meaningful way to cope with grief. Sharing experiences and offering comfort can help both the giver and the receiver find a sense of purpose in their grief.
Regret for lost family traditions and cultural knowledge is a common feeling after the loss of a mother. Focusing on happy reminders such as pictures, books, or keepsakes can provide comfort during the grieving process. These reminders can serve as a connection to the past, helping to preserve cherished memories.
Books such as "Healing After the Loss of Your Mother: A Grief & Comfort Manual," "Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss," and "How to Survive the Loss of a Parent: A Guide for Adults" may provide additional help in coping with the loss of a mother. These resources offer practical advice and emotional support for those navigating the grieving process.
Honoring a mother's memory can provide a sense of personal accomplishment and can take various forms, such as donating to a favorite charity or achieving a personal goal. This act of remembrance can help keep the bond with your mother alive, even as you move forward.
The American Psychological Association's Psychologist Locator can help find a mental health professional specializing in grief recovery. Local support groups, online chat forums, and mental health professionals can provide assistance during the grieving process.
Maternal support can be found in figures other than biological mothers. Literature, such as Kirsty Capes' "Girls," Bettina Flitner's "Meine Mutter," Caroline Wahl's "Windstärke 17," and Leif Randt's "Let's talk about feelings," offers insights into the grief and life experiences of characters who have lost their mothers. These works provide a female perspective on grief and family history, offering solace and understanding to those navigating similar experiences.
It's important to remember that everyone experiences grief differently, and the effects of grief after the loss of a mother are different for everyone. Grief that impairs your daily functioning, or persists for longer than a year, may require the support of a mental health professional. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th ed.) notes an array of normal emotions in the year following parental loss, including regret, remorse, anxiety, guilt, emptiness, rage, anger, sadness, and numbness. If extreme grief persists for more than a year or interferes with daily tasks, it may be helpful to seek professional help.
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