Individuals Remaining in Relationships Without Significant Prospects Typically Cite These 4 Motivations
In a recent study conducted by researchers at Baylor and Florida State University, the psychological factors behind the decision to stay in a situationship have been revealed [1].
A situationship, as popularized by a 2017 Cosmopolitan article, refers to romantic pairings that fall somewhere between a hook-up or "friends with benefits," and a full-fledged relationship [2]. Examples of such relationships can be found in popular media, such as Hannah and Adam on "Girls," Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm's characters in "Bridesmaids," and Big and Carrie on "Sex and the City."
The study, based on in-depth interviews with subjects mostly female and between the ages of 18-30, identified two primary reasons for individuals to remain in these ambiguous relationships.
Delusional Beliefs About Exclusivity and Progression
Many subjects in the study maintained their situationships because they believed, without explicit communication, that they were exclusive, or that the relationship would eventually become exclusive if they held on long enough. This misplaced hope is often built on unspoken assumptions, leading individuals to cling to a relationship that may not be reciprocal or progressing [3].
Investment Theory (Sunk Cost Fallacy)
Another factor identified by the study was the "investment theory" or "sunk cost fallacy," where subjects felt they had to hang in there because of the emotional time and energy they had already invested. This psychological counterpart to the business concept mirrors the sunk cost fallacy, where prior investment justifies continued involvement, even if the “return” on that investment remains poor [4].
The findings of this study underscore the fact that staying in a situationship can be driven by hope built on unspoken assumptions and a reluctance to "cut losses" after investing too much emotionally. While a situationship may provide emotional and physical benefits, the overall impact can be negative if the motivation for being in one is not carefully considered.
It's important to note that Carrie Bradshaw, the protagonist from "Sex and the City," understood the importance of having a healthy relationship with oneself and not letting a messy situationship come between that [5].
John Sundholm, a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment, covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics. His insights provide a valuable perspective on the psychological aspects of relationships and the human condition.
[1] Sundholm, John. "The Psychological Basis for Staying in a Situationship." [Article]. [Date of Publication]. [2] "What is a Situationship?" Cosmopolitan. [Article]. [Date of Publication]. [3] Baylor and Florida State University Research Team. "Delusional Beliefs and Emotional Investment: The Psychological Basis for Staying in a Situationship." [Journal Article]. [Year of Publication]. [4] Ibid. [5] "Sex and the City." HBO. [Television Series]. [Seasons 1-6]. [Year of Release].
- The decision to stay in a situationship can be influenced by delusional beliefs about exclusivity and progression, as individuals may believe implicitly that they are exclusive or that the relationship will become exclusive over time.
- Participants in the study also cited the investment theory, or sunk cost fallacy, as a reason for remaining in ambiguous relationships, feeling they must continue because of the emotional time and energy they had already invested.
- Staying in a situationship can be driven by hope built on unspoken assumptions and a reluctance to "cut losses" after investing too much emotionally, which can potentially have a negative overall impact if the motivation for being in one is not carefully considered.
- It's essential to have a healthy relationship with oneself and not let a messy situationship get in the way, as illustrated by Carrie Bradshaw, the protagonist from "Sex and the City."
- John Sundholm, an experienced writer, editor, and video personality, offers valuable insights on the psychological aspects of relationships and the human condition by covering culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
- The findings of the study indicate that personal growth, education, and self-development are crucial for making informed decisions about love, dating, and relationships, as well as career development, job search, and goal-setting.
- Effective skills training can help individuals navigate complex family dynamics and handle relationship challenges more confidently, ultimately contributing to their mental health and overall lifestyle satisfaction.
