Important Discussions in Leadership: Overcome the Tendency to Evade Them
Being in charge isn't always a walk in the park. If you believe it's simple or enjoyable, you either haven't experienced it or aren't doing it right. My 8-year-old kid recently revealed his ambition to be a leader, stating he wants to boss people around "like you."
"But why don't you listen to me when I'm the boss?" I questioned.
This seemingly innocent banter unveiled a harsh reality: many individuals, even grown-ups, have little understanding of what leadership truly involves. The picture of a leader commanding a room, making decisive decisions, and guiding a team to victory is appealing. However, the reality is quite different—it's a constant fight with discomfort. And often, I lose.
The Uncomfortable Heart: Challenging Leadership Dialogues
The most crucial talent for an effective leader in a high-impact organization isn't strategic thinking or compelling speech—it's the determination to challenge anything in your organization that doesn't yield results.
Here's what actual leadership looks like:
- An employee is giving their all, but the outcome falls short. Their commitment is unquestionable, but the results aren't there. Recognizing their limited potential means a pay cut.
- An employee has a family relying on their income but must be let go. The repercussions are severe, but keeping them on board could harm the team.
- The top leadership is reluctant to speak the truth, fostering a culture where issues linger rather than being resolved.
Now, I understand your thought: "Isn't this treating people like replaceable pieces, sacrificing human dignity in the pursuit of corporate profits?" No, this is about comprehending the significant influence a thriving business has on everyone involved—including their families and personal lives.
The Price of Avoiding Difficult Leadership Dialogues
Everyone remembers William Hung's American Idol audition in 2004. His off-key performance exposed a deeper truth: his loved ones, friends, and educators were aware of his inability to sing, yet none informed him. It shouldn't have taken Simon Cowell on national television to let him know (nor the countless others who came after him).
As a result, our ears were subjected to his painful vocals in elevators, grocery stores, and shopping malls for months on end. The failure of those who supposedly cared about him to tell him the truth resulted in widespread psychological damage and long-term impact on music history.
Though humorous, the situation highlights an essential truth. When leaders shun tough discussions, it affects more than just those directly involved—it impacts the entire team.
- High achievers are demotivated when they observe underperformance going unchecked.
- Trust diminishes as teams notice leaders avoiding problems.
- Progression stalls when feedback isn't freely shared.
By confronting challenges directly, however, leaders foster an environment where excellence is the norm, and everyone understands that their contributions matter.
The Influence of Honesty: Making Difficult Leadership Dialogues Functional
Jeff Bezos put it this way, "High-performing organizations need mechanisms and a culture that supports honesty. Honesties tend to be uncomfortable, awkward, and demanding. Important truths can be tough to hear."
I'll admit, I struggle with an impulse to be liked by all—everyone. Confronting others with challenging information feels daunting and unpleasant, and I want to avoid it. In fact, there are moments when I yearn for someone to take on the task of delivering hard messages on my behalf. It's tempting to delegate the discomfort, but leadership necessitates that we venture into it—personally. It's unappealing, I know.
However, it's not about being harsh or detached; it's about recognizing that avoiding these dialogues is ultimately unkind, not to mention that they can jeopardize your business. By neglecting to address the issues, we deny others the chance to grow and improve, we risk the wellbeing of the organization, and, ultimately, we jeopardize everyone's livelihoods.
Leadership isn't about reveling in a position of power while ignoring the associated burdens. It's about making hard decisions, engaging in challenging conversations, and not permitting factors that harm the organization—even when it feels like "the worst." It's difficult, but by avoiding these dialogues, you risk much greater harm—to your organization, your team, and yourself.
So leaders, let's acknowledge the discomfort and choose to engage in challenging leadership dialogues anyway, so we can become the leaders our organizations require and they can flourish and thrive in the upcoming days.
In the realm of leadership, tough decisions must often be made, such as delivering a negative performance review or initiating a hard conversation about underperformance. These situations can be challenging and uncomfortable, but they are necessary to foster an environment where excellence is the norm. (tough leadership decisions, leadership, negative performance review)
Effective leaders in high-impact organizations are not afraid to make difficult decisions, even if they involve giving a pay cut to an employee with dedication but limited potential. Such decisions are never taken lightly, as they impact not only the individual but their family and personal life as well. (determination to challenge anything in your organization that doesn't yield results, challenging leadership dialogues)
